Loves: animals, smutty novels, soft sheets, and my handy 5-inch hot pink dildo. Hates: smokers, rude blokes, and getting rained on. What about you? I promise not to bite nor judge. I just want to get to know you better.

So what does an old lady like me have to do to get a bloke who can fuck me into oblivion? I've been alone for so long that I have already forgotten what it is like to have someone's breath against my skin.

When I was younger, I looked up to my sister because she was so nice and kind back then. But as I grew older, I realized that she's not really nice at all. She's just a pretentious bint who can't keep her hands to herself to the point that she let he...

I'm not here to find someone who I can have serious and romantic relationships with. I am also not here to find a lad who I can marry. Instead, I am here to find someone who can call time to the dry spell that my pussy is experiencing now.

I'm simply naughty, flirty, and eccentric. Love sex. That is why I'm here. I will give yeh the bollocks orgasm that yeh will experience. I will make yeh feel smashing and make yeh grizzle for more. What dae thou say?

"Favourite food: Spaghetti bolognese Thai green curry Fish and chips Favourite smoothie: Mixed berry Favourite wine: Witching hour red blend I also love fun activities like bowling, paddle boating, and cooking."